virus: Lightbulbs at the COV

carlw (carlw@lisco.com)
Thu, 25 Feb 1999 13:19:55 -0600

Q: How many virus@lucifer.com list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 2,348 - 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed;
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently; 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs; 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs; 53 to flame the spell checkers;
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames;
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"; another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive; 156 to write to the list administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list; 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to litebulb-l;
203 to demand that cross posting to grammar-l, spelling-l and illuminati-l about changing light bulbs be stopped;
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this mail list; 501 to point out that because the lightbulb changer was male, and he screwed the lightbulb in the socket, that this proves that everyone (including the females) subscribed to the list enjoys seeing wimmin being raped; 502 to refute the rape theory with 501 new theories - some expressed as trancendental poetry, others in "did so" and "didn't so" terms; 1 to demand that all male lightbulbs be replaced by female lightbulbs; 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty;
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs; 14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL's;
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list; 33 to link all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers and then add "Me too";
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy;
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"; 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ; 44 to ask what is "FAQ";
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago on the list?" 143 to ask "what's the definition of a list?" 1 to complain that the total should have been 2347; 1 to point out that the total including the anal-retentive arithmetician and the responder is 2348!

TheHermit