Verily I say unto thee that the most high and reverential IPU (blessed be her pinkness) appeared to me in a dream this morning, and BOY IS SHE PISSED! She wants to know how this weaseling fishbait, this imaginary animated calamari, can be deserving of worship when it can actually be seen - and without the eyes of faith? She warns that this tentacled totem with AC and DC parts is related to the Purple Oyster (of Doom), long cast out of her Pastures for the great evil of leading atheists everywhere into the heretical notion that pepperoni and mushroom pizza is more pleasing to Her than the Holy Pineapple and Ham. The so called Purple Oyster (of Doom) now dwells in the halls of the Pastures of Short Grass and High Manure* and the many tentacled Purple Penile Implant will be joining it after losing its parts of both sexes, for an eternity - at least of Internet time - and forced to feed on the scatalogical outpourings of the CoV mail list. To avoid sharing their fate, for a penance you must give all that you have to the Foundation for the Preservation of Unicorns, Bigfeet, and Other Very Rare Species. Repent!
As there may be some on this list who have not been told of the IPU (blessed be her pinkness) and her very superior godlike characteristics, "The Invisible Pink Unicorns is a being of great spiritual power. We know this because she is capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that she is pink; we logically know that she is invisible because we can't see her."
TheHermit <Still wandering around with a beam in his eye> Man is quite insane. He wouldn't know how to create a maggot yet he creates gods by the dozen.
The New Revised Amalgamated Standard Creed We believe in One Unicorn, The Pink, The Invisible. Creator of Uncertainty, revealed to us in the alt.atheist usenet forum - She that Raptures Socks. She will smite those that mock Her brethren. Others believe baloney, we too will join the feast. We shall eat our fill, yea every belly shall be full of ham and pineapple pizza. Her Revelations show us the folly of all Religions. Spread Her Word.
The IPU syllogism (first appearing on the CoV)
All gods are entirely man-made.
No god which is man-made is entirely worthy of worship.
If you cannot complete a syllogism, then you deserve to worship a man-made
god.
Corollary: Of all of the man-made gods, the IPU is most worthy of worship. Send money now.
*It is foretold that someday, on the Day of Oats and Hay, the Purple Oyster (of Doom) will be reconciled with the Mare of Peace and bask again in her rosy glow. It is said that no feast can equal that feast, that pineapple and ham will flow like wind in the mane! On that day too, the squid will be sliced, diced, dipped, fried and served to the starving messes.
Some IPU sites
http://www.kerbcrawler.demon.co.uk/ipu/index2.htm http://home.att.net/~edwards-mm/ http://www.dnaco.net/~rwdaniel/ipu/ipufaq.html http://www.xmission.com/~utahutes/ipu/ipu.html http://www.geocities.com/~tware/cdis/ipu.html http://www.physics.oberlin.edu/students/jweiner/truth.html