virus: funny and frightening all rolled up into one (fwd)

Bill Godby (wgodby@sun.tir.com)
Wed, 22 May 1996 10:04:02 -0400


>From: ereilly@family.hampshire.edu (Ed Reilly)
>Subject: funny and frightening all rolled up into one (fwd)
>To: edbdboy@aol.com (Fred Reilly), jreilly776@aol.com (John Reilly),
> yd56@music.ferris.edu (Randy Groves),
> mhm4@lehigh.edu (Michael Mendelson)
>Date: Sat, 18 May 1996 11:02:00 -0400 (EDT)

Here's something for Virians that I think will bring a chuckle. Bill

>--------------------------- Original Message ---------------------------
>I hope all of you are well. Enjoy the following :)
>
>Forwarded message:
>
>>
>> Hi, my name is jon, and I am a thinkaholic (though not the author of this):
>>
>>
>> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then
>> to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I
>> was more than just a social thinker.
>>
>> I began to think alone -"to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't
>> true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
>> thinking all the time.
>>
>> I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix,
>>
>> but I couldn't stop myself.
>>
>> I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
>> I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
>> exactly we are doing here?"
>>
>> Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off
>> the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night
>> at her mother's.
>>
>> I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in.
>> He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
>>
>> has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll
>> have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.
>>
>> I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
>> confessed, "I've been thinking..."
>>
>> "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
>>
>> "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
>>
>> "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college
>>
>> professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on
>> thinking we won't have any money!"
>>
>> "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd
>> had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the
>> door.
>>
>> I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station
>>
>> on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass
>> doors...they didn't open. The library was closed.
>>
>> To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
>> night.
>>
>> As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
>> Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining
>> your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
>> standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
>>
>> Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA
>> meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it
>> was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking
>> since the last meeting.
>>
>> I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
>> seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
>--Ed
>
>