Re: virus: ostention, repression, ignition, exhaust

Tim Rhodes (
Fri, 21 Mar 1997 13:26:24 -0800 (PST)

On Thu, 20 Mar 1997, Tony Hindle wrote:

> Have you heard the following urban legends
> Gang initiation, lights off.
> Batman wardrobe
> Jerbils up arse

As follows (submited for your amusement):

-Prof. Tim

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>>Actually from the LA Times:
>>"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
>>trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in
>>the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his
>>homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency
>>treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a
>>cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he
>>explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd
>>had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again,
>>so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might
>>attract him."
>>At a hushed press conference, a hospital pokesman described what
>>happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal
>>gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and
>>severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and
>>whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the
>>intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
>>Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the
>>impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree
>>burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
>>Submitted by: Tina C Greenwald @

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