Just thought I'd forward this little tidbit on Empathy from the TCS mailing
list... my apologies to those who are subscribed to both.
ERiC
> Subject: Re: Tantrums and Little Ubermenschen was Re: Spoiling was Re:
> Children are Property
> From: Samantha or Mark <mjloesch@SKYPOINT.COM>
> Date: Thu, 26 Mar 1998 16:20:22 -0600
>
> Jason wrote:
> >Empathy is a learned skill.
>
> Maybe so, but it is learned by example from parents that show
> *true* empathy towards their children (understanding the child
> from his/her perspective). Telling your child "hey, I have
> feelings too!" Will not teach empathy.
>
> ...>Sometimes I still disgreguarded
> >the feelings and desires of others. I could be thoroughly unreasonable.
> >I-want-what-I-want-and-I-want-it-now-and-if-you-don't-give-it-to-me-
> >I'm-going-to-make-life-hell-for-you-in-revenge....
>
> This was a result of coercion. You must have had no other
> means to get what you wanted. If you knew that your parents
> were on your side, you would not need to resort to making
> their life hell. If they showed you true empathy, you would
> *know* that they understood what you wanted and why. See the
> thing is, if a person is treated with respect and
> understanding from the beginning they will treat others with
> respect and understanding. If you have been coerced, and had
> your feeling denied from the beginning, then you will treat
> others with coercion and disrespect.
>
> Yep, empathy is a "must have" for every parent.` If you really
> have a feel for your child's viewpoint, his behavior makes
> sense.
>
> Samantha Loesch
> mjloesch@skypoint.com
> Minneapolis, MN