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Both of you seem to be missing the point. There are no memes 'out there' and there are no memes 'in here'. Memes are invisible.
Remember, genes are invisible too. One of the most annoying problems for neo-Darwinians is that so many people misunderstand the modern synthesis. That is, genes are far too often regarded as simply 'chunks of DNA'. This simply ain't so.
A gene is a *relationship* between a chunk of DNA and a behavioural trait. DNA exists in the physical world, and behavioural traits, inasmuch as we identify them so, exist in the physical world. But a gene does not - a gene is an identification of a particular relationship; an intentional object. We talk about what genes are 'for'.
Similarly, memes are invisible. They should not be simply equated with chunks of 'brain code'. Memes are a *relationship* between brain code and instances of culture. Cultural instances (written words, pictures, artefacts, etc.) are the 'DNA' of memetics. Brain code is analogous to a phenotypal behavioural trait - i.e. the same cultural instances tend to produce similar types of brain code in different individuals, just as the same genes tend to produce similar types of behavioural traits in different individuals.
Michael H.