> I have an interesting question for the list: What should you tell
> a child when a close relative dies? Is it better to confort them
> with tales of angels in fluffy clouds or tell them the harsh secular
> truth, or is there another alternative?
I know a little girl who was four when her father died of a heroin
overdose, in their house, while she and her mother were visiting family
elsewhere, so his body wasn't found for ten days.
Such situations certainly tax the ability of adults to explain, especially
when the remaining family has to live in a house that smells of death, and
where most of the furniture has been rendered unusable by that fact, and
had to be destroyed.
The mother in this case apparently told the little girl that God had taken
her daddy away and that he was up in the stars now. During dinner at a
Chinese restaurant (the little girl ordered "Happy Family", captivated by
the name), she suddenly announced that she was mad at God.
One has to be mindful of the implications of one's comforting claims.
--Eva