virus: M&M Evolution

D. H. Rosdeitcher (
16 Apr 97 10:44:46 EDT

Here's something a friend sent me, which was
copied from someone who definitely has too much time on
their hands. It can explain how memes "compete". --David

>Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
>continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.
>To this end, I hold M&M duels.

>Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
>pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
>splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
>immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

>I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
>tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
>have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
>long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern
>candy and snack-food world.

>Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen,
>or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this
>proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the
>candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt
>to its environment.

>When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
>strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this
>one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars,
>A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along
>with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

>This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a
>free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money."
>I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field
>of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

>There can be only one.

>Chris Ward