virus: Horoscopes

Drakir (
Tue, 06 May 1997 15:39:46 +0100


> AQUARIUS (1/20-2/10) You have an inventive mind and are
> inclined to be
> progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes
> repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a
> fucking jerk.
> PISCES (2/19-3/20) You have a vivid imagination and often
> think you are
> being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your
> friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack
> confidence and are generally a dipshit.
> ARIES (3/21-4/19) You are the pioneer type and think most
> people are
> dickheads. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of
> advice. You are a prick.
> TAURUS (4/20-5/20) You are practical and persistent. You
> have a
> dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are
> stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn communist.
> GEMINI (5/21-6/20) You are a quick and intelligent thinker.
> People like
> you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much
> for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini's are
> notorious for thriving on incest.
> CANCER (6/21-7/22) You are sympathetic and understanding to
> other
> people's problems which makes you a sucker. You are always putting
> things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be
> worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
> LEO (7/23-8/22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others
> think
> you are an idiot. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot
> tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo
> people are thieving motherfuckers and spend most of their time
> kissing mirrors.
> VIRGO (8/23-9/22) You are the logical type and hate disorder.
> This
> shitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and
> unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgo's make good
> bus drivers and pimps.
> LIBRA (9/23-10/22) You are the artistic type and have a
> difficult time
> with reality. If your male, you are probably queer. Chances for
> employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores.
> All Libra's die of venereal disease.
> SCORPIO (10/23-11/21) The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in
> business
> and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of
> success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a
> son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio's are murdered.
> SAGITTARIUS (11/22-12/21) You are optimistic and
> enthusiastic. You have
> a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent.
> The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius.
> You are not worth the time of day.
> CARPICORN (12/22-1/19) You are conservative and afraid of
> taking risks.
> You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn
> of any importance. You should kill yourself.

"We are the New Breed ... We are the Future" --------------------------------------------