virus: [Fwd: INEFFECTIVE DAILY AFFIRMATION: for those perky days]

Wed, 22 Oct 1997 15:47:02 -0700

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of
suspicion and paranoia.

As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are
someone else's fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of
course, I want to stay employed.

My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass?

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.

I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no
at all.

Joan of Arc heard voices too.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious,
self-righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and

As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward
me in many ways to keep me quiet.

When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not
nearly as gratifying.

The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do
nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice

All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and

I am at one with my duality.

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

Rather than curse the darkness, I could light a candle... with a little
luck, I could torch the place.

I will strive to live each day as if it were my 30th birthday.

Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with
imaginary fears.

Does my quiet self-pity get to me? Yes? Or should I move up to incessant


I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and
local laws.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no
sweeter words than "I told you so."

False hope is nicer than no hope at all.

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV.
Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute...I'll find

Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it
worrying about the future?

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is

I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step --
blaming my parents.

To understand all is to fear all