Re: virus: Fund Raising via 900

Ken Pantheists (kenpan@axionet.com)
Tue, 28 May 1996 20:53:55 +0000

EASYSTREET BROKERAGE wrote:
>
> EARN $1.00 PER MINUTE FOR YOUR ORGANIZATION!!!
>
> QUESTION & ANSWERS
> (phone sex phone sex phone sex phone sex phone sex phone sex)
> CHURCH 900 NUMBER PROGRAM
>
> How do 900 numbers copulate?
>
> By dialing a 1-900 number, anyone in the United States with a touch tone
> phone can access PHONE SEX and be charged for the call on their
> telephone bill. The telephone company takes care of billing and
> collection from the caller. On a monthly basis, the telephone company
> (after deducting their service charges) forwards the information provider
> a check. It's that simple!
>
> How can we get a 900 (phone sex) number for our church?
>
> Upon request we will send an Operations Manual to you for $39.95 (sevice and handling to be provided by the client) which will supply you with a FREE 900 number sexclusively for your
> church. This manual will provide you with instructions on how to update, initiate and mastur--
>, as well as marketing and administrative
> help.
>
> What might a typical message contain?
>
> Beginning the telephone message:
>
> 1. Welcome the caller by asking what he or she is wearing and
>the name of the church and the city it's located in.
>
> 2. Thank your caller for making a contribution to the church and suggest what could be done for a bigger contribution.
>
> 3. Make a comment relevant to the client's ,uh, church goer's particular suggestion (oooo, aaahhh, yes, etc.)
>
> Ideas for the message it's self:
>
> 1. Give a short prayer or blessing.Examples: Oh God!
>
> 2. Sing a hymn and encourage the caller to sing along. Examples: Come all ye faithful, Psalm 69 ...
>
> 3. Provide some inspirational comfort for people who need support. Example: I understand, you can just relax and ... be yourself....
>
> 4. Recognize holidays with prayers, blessings, customs, recipes, etc. Example: Yeah, I'm wearing a rabbit outfit too. And I have a big basket of carrots...
>
> 5. Provide church news, announcements, or information concerning those in
> need of the churches support, etc. Example: That'll be $54.95
>

> Is there anything else I should know about the recorded message?
>
> 1. If possible, the message should be narreted by the clergy.
>
> 2. Messages should be approximately 5 minutesin length (2 minutes
> of speaking plus 3 minutes of breathing).
>
> 3. Recorded message should be updated daily (or more frequently).
>
> Are there any ways to promote our 900 number with little or no money?
>
> 1. Print the 900 number in the local bus station urinals.
>
> 2. Have the clergy announce the 900 number at defence hearings, and social
> functions to encourage calls.
>
> 3. Distribute business cards and moist towelettes, at each service or fuction, with the 900
> number printed on them.
>
> 4. In a prominent location, put up a large, permanent sign promoting the
> church's 900 number.
>

> Aside from the funds we could obviously raise, what are some of the
> advantages of having a 900 number?
>
> Advantages to the church:
>
> 1. "NO RISK" sexual outlet, with no ongoing cost.
>
> 2. Easy to set-up.
>
> 3. Messages can be updated by the clergy via any telephone, at any time.
>
> 4. Increases contact with congregation without increasing the exchange of bodily fluids.
>
> 5. Allows the church to reach members, and allows those members to stay in touch with themselves.
>
>
> How will we gwt paid?
>
> Approximately 60 to 90 days after the billing month in which the calls
> were placed to your 900 phone sex number,your check from AIS, for your revenue
> share is forward to you.
>
> The 60 to 90 day lag is due to the time between:
>
> * when the phone bill is received and doctored
> * when the caller actually pays their telephone bill or becomes hospitalized.
> * when our staff supervisor supports his drug habit
> * when the telephone company forwards payment to the 900 service
> bureau (AIS)
>
> VISIT OUR WEB SITE FOR UPDATES AND PRODUCT INFORMATION!!!
>
> 900 Easystreet
> http://eros.cum/ezstreet/900.htm
>
> For a demonstration of how a 900 number works dial.
>
> 1-900-PHO-NSEX ext.BAMBI
> 

-- 
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Ken Pantheists           http://www.lucifer.com/~kenpan           
Virus Theatre            http://www.lucifer.com/virus/theatre   
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