Anagram Genius Server

  Subject: Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

   dial 1-900-psh-rink

  Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

  If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

  If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

  If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what
  you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

  If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice
  will tell you which number to press.

  If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number
  you press. No one will answer.

  If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware
  that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and
  about to bite off your ear.

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